One of my friends and I were talking about her upcoming move to NYC, and she related to me that she was going to miss the BBQ from Texas. She also regailed me with the story of how she went to some place last time she was there that claimed to have “real, Southern BBQ” and if you could prove you were from the South, you would get 25% off your meal. Bonus.
She also told me it was some of the worst BBQ she had ever tried.
That got me to thinking about some of the bad BBQ places I have been to, and it made me think of some advice that I might impart to anyone who thinks they have a great idea for a BBQ joint.
1. Don’t have more than one sauce.
This should be obvious, but obviously it is not. If you have 19 different sauces, I can tell you right now they aren’t very good. Sauce at a BBQ joint is the reason people go. If you have 19, you haven’t perfected one. The best BBQ places I have been to have one sauce and you either love it or hate it. But the love runs deep and is loyal. Ever notice how most awesome resteraunts have a signature dish? Yeah, not 19 of them. In BBQ, your sauce should be your signature dish.
2. You better have kick ass sides.
See, we know you are over charging us for the meat and are only going to give us a small portion, so you better make up for it in the sides. If I can taste better out of a box or a can, you are in serious trouble.
3. You better serve all the fixins.
OK, so I may not even use them, but someone will, and if you don’t have them and/or you charge for them, well eff you buddy. What am I talking about? Well, like the bread to sop up the sauce you have now perfected, the pickles, the onions, the jalepenos, etc. That’s the stuff of BBQ gods.
4. You better have good corn bread.
Ok, well, you don’t need to HAVE corn bread, but if you do, it better be good. Yes, it should be dense. No, I shouldn’t be able to use it as a doorstop. And it needs to be moist. Don’t think compact play sand, think high quality potting soil.
5. If you aren’t from the South, don’t pretend to be.
There is nothing wrong with a BBQ place that doesn’t have real, Southern atmosphere as long as the food is awesome. But if you try to fake it, real Southerners will make fun of you. Trust me, just easier to be yourself or open a Subway instead.
Just some opinions, but I think BBQ places should take notice. My little part to keep bad BBQ off the streets.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Ok so, as your friend who moved to NYC and misses the BBQ terribly, I agree whole-heartedly with your advice. I want to slap the sauce off of some of these people’s faces when they say it’s GOOD BBQ! Alas, I have only tried a couple places out here. I *hear* Dinosaur BBQ is good, but the name in itself is a little frightening. I will let you know of my findings unless you are with me when we try it together!
Yeah, it’s weird. Every BBQ place I have ever been to has claimed to be the best, and most can’t even get the smoking right. I’ve heard Dallas BBQ in NYC is decent, you might want to give that a try.